Rosalina’s crown was crooked.
That was the first sign it was her day off.
She lay on her stomach in soft pink pajamas, bare feet kicking lazily in the air as sunlight poured through the curtains of her guest room in the Mushroom Kingdom. A silver crown sat on top of her messy ponytail like it was just happy to be invited, and in her hands was the most sacred royal artifact of all:
A Nintendo Switch.
Her yellow star buddy, Luma, floated at the edge of the bed, watching the screen with the intense focus of a speedrunner on world-record pace.
“Okay, Luma,” Rosalina said, tightening her grip. “Ranked match. No mercy. Today, we climb out of Bronze.”
“Luuuuuma!” the star chimed, which roughly translated to: You’ve been saying that for three seasons, but sure, go off, queen.
The lobby countdown ticked: 3… 2… 1…
The game loaded: a chaotic online arena called Galaxy Brawl Royale—a mash-up of kart racing, platform fighting, and complete emotional destruction.
Rosalina skimmed the player list.
MushroomDaddy69
Luigi_NoScope
⭐StarMom420⭐
and…You
Your username popped up: NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob).
Rosalina smiled. “Oh, I’ve seen that name. You were the one who drove off the map three times last match.”
“Luuuuma,” the star giggled.
“Don’t laugh,” she said. “We’ve all rage-quit a tutorial before.”
Match Start
The race began on Rainbow Road 2.0, now with 80% fewer guardrails and 200% more emotional damage. Rosalina’s fingers danced over the controls; this was her real magic. Forget cosmic powers—she had perfect drift timing.
“Alright, Luma, we stick to the plan. First place, or we uninstall.”
Luma nodded, dead serious.
The starting horn blared.
Rosalina accelerated, boosting off the line. You—NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob)—rocketed forward too, surprisingly keeping pace.
“Hey, they practiced,” Rosalina murmured. “Character development already. I’m proud.”
You drifted around a corner, almost falling off but saving it at the last second.
“Nice clutch,” she said aloud, even though you couldn’t hear her. “That’s what we call a ‘faith-based turn.’”
Items flew everywhere—shells, bombs, banana peels, whatever chaos the game had patched in overnight. Rosalina predicted the patterns, weaving through with the calm of someone who’d watched waaaay too many ‘Top 10 Pro Strats’ videos at 2 AM.
Then a red shell locked onto her.
“Oh no you don’t,” she whispered, glancing at the mini-map. The shell arrow pointed straight from your kart.
You had betrayed her.
“Et tu, NoobSlayer?” she gasped dramatically.
Luma floated in front of the screen, absolutely scandalized.
The shell hit. Rosalina spun out, crown tilting even more.
“Wow,” she said. “Friendship speedrun: 0.3 seconds.”
Voice Chat Chaos
Her Switch pinged with a party invite.
It was from Peach.
Rosalina sighed. “If I don’t answer, she’ll spam me with peach emojis again.”
She accepted the invite and voice chat activated.
“Rosiii!” Peach’s voice chimed. “Are you online? I saw you queue ranked without us—traitor!”
“Good morning to you too,” Rosalina replied. “I needed a warm-up match.”
Luigi joined the call next. “I, uh, logged in just to spectate. I brought emotional support.”
Mario joined a second later. “Let’s-a gooooo—oh, it’s ranked? Never mind, I’m out. I retire.”
“You can’t retire from losing,” Rosalina teased. “That’s called consistency.”
Luma snorted.
Peach glanced at the player list. “Ooh, you’re matched with NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob) again. That username is a cry for help.”
“Actually, they’re getting good,” Rosalina said, watching you nail a shortcut. “They nearly pushed me off, emotionally and physically.”
Luigi laughed. “That’s the gamer dream—emotionally stable but mechanically toxic.”
Mario: “So… not us.”
A Sudden Team-Up
Halfway through the race, a surprise event triggered:
NEW MODE: DUO FINAL ROUND – TEAM UP WITH THE PLAYER NEAREST IN RANK.
The game paired Rosalina with… you.
“Plot twist,” Rosalina breathed.
Your kart zipped beside hers, flashing a little emote: a nervous wave.
She laughed. “Alright, NoobSlayer, truce. Co-op arc unlocked.”
Text popped up on your side:
TEAM OBJECTIVE: FINISH COMBINED PLACING 3RD OR BETTER.
Bonus: Emote Pack – ‘Toxic, But Cute’
“Incentives,” Rosalina muttered. “They know their audience.”
The track shifted into a shared arena: jumps, loops, shared health bar, the works. Friendly fire was off now, so your red shells no longer threatened her soul. Together, you blasted past other racers, syncing boosts like you’d rehearsed this.
“You take high road,” Rosalina said, even though you couldn’t hear. “I’ll take low—classic pincer strat.”
You actually did take the high road.
“You’ve been watching the same YouTubers as me, huh?” she grinned.
Luigi whistled in voice chat. “You two are cracked. That was a 200 IQ route.”
Mario sounded impressed. “I taught her everything she knows.”
Peach cut in. “You taught her how to fall into lava repeatedly.”
“Is also a skill,” Mario argued.
The Final Lap
Final lap. First place duo.
Things were getting sweaty. Not literally—Rosalina’s room was perfectly air-conditioned—but emotionally? 100% sweat.
The music ramped up. Luma hovered closer to the screen, eyes shining.
A giant warning sign flashed:
SUDDEN BOSS EVENT – COOP REQUIRED
A massive Bowser-themed kart dropped from the sky, flames everywhere, an entire mood of “I skipped the tutorial, but I deserve to win anyway.”
“Ah,” Rosalina said. “Pay-to-win energy.”
The boss targeted you with a barrage of fireballs. You swerved and barely dodged, but your health bar plummeted.
“One more hit and we’re done,” she said.
Peach shouted in her ear. “Use your ultimate!”
“That’s for the end,” Rosalina replied. “It’s called resource management, Peach.”
Luigi muttered, “I just hoard items and panic. Does that count?”
Rosalina drifted behind the boss kart, charging her special. Luma glowed, syncing with the game. The bar hit 100%.
You, meanwhile, launched everything you had: shells, bombs, pure panic steering. The boss’s shield began to crack.
“Now!” she shouted, pressing the ultimate.
Her kart spun into a spiral of stardust, launching Luma forward like a glowing comet. In the game, a huge star crashed into Bowser’s kart, shredding its defenses.
You boosted through the explosion, landing the last hit.
BOSS DEFEATED!
DUO VICTORY!
You crossed the finish line together, first place.
Rosalina’s screen flooded with rewards, emotes, and one new notification:
Friend Request from: NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob)
She paused.
Mario: “ACCEPT IT. GAMER CODE.”
Peach: “Reject and assert dominance.”
Luigi: “Flip a coin?”
Luma floated closer to the screen, blinking at the request, then at Rosalina.
“Yeah, yeah,” she said, smiling softly. “I know.”
She hit Accept.
Post-Game Lobby
A message popped up from you.
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): GG! Sorry for the shell earlier lol
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): First time making it past Bronze. You hard-carry.
Rosalina chuckled and typed back:
StarQueen: No worries. I’ve been betrayed by red shells before. Comes with the crown.
StarQueen: You played great. That shortcut was clean. You in a rush to rank up, or just vibing?
A moment later:
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): Just vibing. I’m supposed to be doing homework but this counts as “hand-eye coordination training,” right?
She grinned. “Respect.”
Peach’s voice chimed in. “Ask if they want to queue again!”
Luigi added, “Ask their preferred role. We need a healer. Emotional healer.”
Mario: “Ask them their favorite pasta. Very important.”
Rosalina ignored Mario and typed:
StarQueen: One more match? I promise I’ll only emotionally damage our opponents this time.
Instant reply:
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): Bet. Let me grab snacks. Try not to uninstall while I’m gone.
Rosalina rolled onto her back, laughing, feet kicking slightly in the air. “Okay, yeah. This is fun.”
Luma floated down, curling up like a star-shaped cat beside her arm, eyes half-closed but still watching the screen.
The “One More Game” Arc
One match turned into two.
Two turned into five.
By the fourth match, you and Rosalina had accidentally invented a synchronized drift move that made everyone in the lobby salty. Chat filled with things like:
“OK BUT HOW ARE THEY SO IN SYNC??”
“TOUCH GRASS.”
“STOP HAVING FUN WITHOUT ME.”
Peach eventually joined, refusing to be left out. Luigi hopped in as moral support and surprise sniper. Mario claimed he was “just spectating,” but somehow kept yelling advice like a backseat gamer with a PhD in Bad Decisions.
Every time someone messed up, someone else dropped a joke:
-
Peach fell off the map: “That’s not a shortcut, that’s a longcut.”
-
Luigi accidentally hit Rosalina with a stray item: “Friendly fire is just… aggressively friendly.”
-
Mario got eliminated first: “I jumped before I looked, which is called ‘platformer instinct.’”
You typed between rounds:
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): You guys play like a party of final bosses.
Rosalina replied:
StarQueen: Nah, we’re just a group side quest that got out of hand.
The Save Point
Eventually, the sun shifted in the room, turning the golden morning into a warm afternoon glow. Her eyes stung a little. Her thumbs felt like they’d unlocked a secret hidden ache achievement.
Peach yawned. “I have to log off. Real-life princess duties. Ugh, responsibility DLC.”
Luigi said, “I promised to fix the plumbing today. Mario broke it speedrunning showers.”
Mario disconnected suspiciously fast.
The party disbanded, leaving just you and Rosalina still online.
She glanced at the clock. “Wow. That was… a lot of hours.”
Luma made a quiet chiming sound that definitely meant, And zero regrets.
You messaged:
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): Thanks for playing so much. This was honestly the most fun I’ve had in ages. My friends don’t game much. They think “grinding” means doing chores.
Rosalina smiled, a soft, genuine one this time.
StarQueen: Same here. I’m usually busy watching whole galaxies, but sometimes I forget how nice it is to just… chill.
StarQueen: You played great. For the record, you’re officially Not A Noob anymore.
There was a pause. Then:
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): Promotion arc unlocked?? 👀
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): Next time, let’s climb out of Silver. Together. Deal?
Rosalina rested her cheek on the pillow, kicking her feet a little again as she typed:
StarQueen: Deal. But fair warning—I take “one more game” very literally. Like… 5 times.
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): Same. Guess we’re doomed.
She laughed softly. “Yeah. Doomed to have fun.”
Luma let out a sleepy chiming sound and nestled closer. Rosalina set the Switch on the bed for a moment and stretched, crown tilting one last time.
A princess, in pajamas, hair tied up, bare feet in the air, lying on a messy bed with her star buddy and her console beside her—no galactic crisis, no urgent missions.
Just a gamer on her day off, queuing up for another adventure with a new friend.
She picked the Switch back up and sent one last message:
StarQueen: Same time tomorrow?
NoobSlayer(ButActuallyNoob): You already know. I’ll bring snacks and bad puns.
Rosalina smiled.
“Perfect,” she whispered. “I’ll bring the crown and the carry.”
Luma chimed in agreement as the “Play Again” button lit up on the screen—because for gamers like you and her, there’s only one true ending:
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